Plot of Requirement
by roseusvortex
Summary: In which Snape wears glasses, Hermione is annoyed, and Dumbledore is a very old and wise wizard. /timetravel!Snamione Written for the April Fools Pranking Event over at the DAII forum. Cracky!fic


**_Why do I feel like I wrote Dramione. To be honest, I have no idea what a Kissing Concoction is. If it gets rushed at the end, that's because I mistakenly thought the max amount of words were 2k and I couldn't go beyond that number.  
_**

 _ **Apparently I was wrong and yet, it still may be rushed. p  
**_

 _ **Written for the April Fools Pranking Event at Daigon Alley II. For Lily MJ Fae!**_

 ** _I hope you enjoy! Somewhat cracky, because it is a prank. ;)  
_**

* * *

 _Entrance_

...

Hermione Granger was never one that fainted out of shock or surprise. She'd let the emotions pass over her face, but never would she let them control her. Unlike Ronald who would easily faint if he came in contact with spiders. It was something she and Harry had in common, in fact, the ability to not give in to the horrible shock or surprise that comes whenever Dumbledore opened his mouth and let his eyes twinkle at full blast.

"Miss Granger, due to a mishap back in 1987, this teenager has been sent forward in time. Until I have managed to fix this problem and send him back, it would be preferable if he could continue to attend class and so," He leaned forward with a twinkle in his blue eyes, "I would like you to keep an eye on this young boy for me. I am entrusting this task to you."

Hermione could only stare at the scraggly, scowling teen in front of her. His hair hung limply around his pale face and the glinting black eyes looked _disturbingly_ familiar.

"His name is Severus Snape."

Was the room moving?

"Now...I know what you are thinking, Miss Grange-"

And suddenly her vision went black.

* * *

 _Introductions_

...

When Hermione woke up, she was relieved to see that she was still in the Headmaster's office and a bit dismayed that it wasn't her bed. Which would mean this had been a dream.

"Oh, Miss Granger, I see you are awake."

She abruptly sat up, "Yes, Headmaster!"

In her rush, she didn't see that past!Snape had been leaning over her and their heads collided harshly. He hissed in pain, clutching his head and she groaned while holding her now probably broken nose.

"Would you be more careful?" He glared at her.

Hermione rubbed her nose, "...Sorry, wasn't looking."

"Obviously..."

Good to know that this Snape had sarcasm as well, she noted.

"Yes, well now that you two are finished bonding..."

Hermione would've thought that the Headmaster was using sarcasm if not the fact that he really looked so sincere and happy over the fact that they had just rammed their heads together. Hermione put it down to the lemon drops he was munching on and inwardly vowed to investigate whatever was in such confections.

"...I would like to point out that this is a highly classified matter, Miss Granger. No one must know." His expression turned serious for the moment, "Especially Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter."

She wanted to laugh at the younger Snape's expression, "Potter? What does Potter have to do with this?"

"He's my friend, if you must know." She replied primly.

Apparently Snape did have to know. "There are more Potters in the future? _More?_ Headmaster, I refuse to stay here."

"As your Headmaster, I am afraid you have no choice."

Hermione stole a quick look at the teenager.

Snape's face was a bit red from a mixture of anger at being denied so outright and embarrasment because he really _didn't_ have a choice. Even Hermione could see that. She felt a bit sorry for him.

"It's...not that bad, really." She offered him a smile, "Harry isn't anything like the Potter in your time. "

He hissed at her, "And how would you know?"

She frowned at him. How rude. Ignoring him, she turned back to the Headmaster, "Sir, I have really have tons of questions for you right now."

He peered at her over his wire-rimmed glasses, "I shall try to answer them to my best ability, Miss Granger."

She started off, "How is time travel real?"

"Very old magic."

"How come I have never read any books involving time travel before?"

"It is rather Dark Magic to some and obscure magic to others. I doubt there would be any books written on the subject."

"How did Pro-, I mean, Snape... How did he get here?"

"You'll have to ask him that later. I'm sure you two will find plenty of time to discuss it."

"How do you plan hiding a new student in Hogwarts?"

"Simply say he is a transfer student."

She gaped at the Headmaster, "But Hogwarts doesn't _have_ transfer students. It clearly states in the Hogwarts: A History that-"

Snape interrupted, "Yes, but nobody reads that rubbish, do they? It's so terrible that I doubt they even read it twenty years from now."

Hermione flushed, but ignored him, "How are you managing to disguise him? In case...someone sees him."

"Ah, I'm glad you asked, " Dumbledore rustled through one of his desk drawers and pulled out a pair of black round glasses. They looked remarkably like Harry's. "These should do it." He handed them to Snape who took them with a face of someone awaiting their death sentence.

"Um, yes... where is he going to stay?"

"Since it would be best if he stayed near you for the duration of his stay, Severus will be staying in the Gryffindor dorms.

 _Thump_

Both her and Dumbledore turned to look at the very still figure of young Severus Snape laying the floor.

"Poor boy. The time travel must've taken its toll on him."

Hermione personally didn't feel like that was the real reason, but decided to relish the feeling of someone else fainting over this whole ordeal.

"One more question...sir..."

"Yes?"

"Why me?"

Dumbledore smiled gently at her, "You'll need to find that answer yourself, Miss Granger." He turned back towards his desk. "If you could take Severus and his stunning new glasses to the Infirmary, please. If you have any other questions, feel free to visit me any time. The password is: 'Nose-Biting Teacup."

She blinked, "That isn't a candy."

Dumbledore ruefully rubbed his crooked nose, "So I learned quite recently."

"..."

* * *

 _Plot of Requirement_

...

"Oh, Miss Granger?"

"Yes?"

"Due to unforseen circumstances, you should date Snape during his visit."

"What? Why?"

"Because the plot requires you to do so."

"That makes no sense!"

"I am a very old wizard with much wisdom."

" _That makes even less sense!"_

* * *

 _The Friend Reactions._

...

After dropping off Pro- Snape, at the Infirmary with a very surprised Madam Promfrey, Hermione stormed into the Gryffindor with gritted teeth and wild hair flying so dramatically that even Lavendar shrank back as it threatened to slap her in the face.

Harry and Ron looked up from their chess game as she loomed above them.

"Whoa, 'Mione. You look awful."

Hermione gave him a glare, "That's not my name, Ronald."

He retorted, "And 'Ronald' isn't mine."

Harry interjected, "Quit it, guys." He sighed, "Let me guess... Dumbledore and the Twinkling Eyes?"

Hermione gave a short angry nod and noted that Harry wasn't wearing his normal glasses.

Harry said, "I knew it. Those eyes are as villianous as Voldemort's underpants."

Ron nodded his head somberly, "That's terrifying."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

Harry slowly moved his pawn forward with squinting calculating eyes, although Hermione was certain that he just couldn't see. "So what does he want with you?"

"He assigned me a boyfriend."

"He _what?!_ " Ron stood up so abruptly that his chair landed behind him with such a big bang that it made Seamus give a little squeak across the room.

Nobody paid him any mind.

Ron's face was sligtly red. It matched his Weasley red hair remarklablely well.

Hermione stared, "What?"

Harry said, "Is he a _nice_ fellow?"

Hermione and Ron turned and stared their friend, "Harry!"

"You'd rather it not be a nice fellow?"

"That's not the point, Harry!"

Hermione held up a hand and the boys fell silent. "First off... Harry."

"Yes?"

"I've been trying to ignore it...but you have knocked off three pawns off of the chessboard so far. Where are your glasses?"

"Dumbledore took them."

"Why did you let him take them?"

"Because he is a very old and wise wizard."

"Oh Merlin."

* * *

 _The First Dinner_

...

Dinner went well. At least Hermione thought so. She couldn't blame Snape for slouching in his seat, but maybe he could've done without frothing at the mouth and snapping at anyone who dared smile at him. Ronald was already glaring at him and stabbing his mashed potatoes with typical angry Weasley fashion.

Harry was worse.

"Hello, new transfer student."

 _Glare._

"How are you?"

 _Darker glare._

"I'm well. Thanks for asking. Where are you from?"

 _Even more darker glare._

"Are you a Muggleborn?"

 _Pitch black glare._

"Is that so?"

Finally, Harry leaned over to Hermione while she was trying to drown herself in a raspberry tart. "This is him?"

"Yes."

"...I didn't know that was your type..."

She sighed.

* * *

 _Pranked~_

...

They didn't even manage to get past their first class before they were pranked. Hermione was almost positive that Ronald had thrown something in their cauldron during potions class. In the end, Snape and her both sported some uncomfortable electric pink hair.

Snape was upset.

She was seething.

Slughorn was vaguely amused and sent them to the Infirmary.

Hermione caught sight of Ronald's prideful smirk that only faltered slight when she gave him a disappointed frown as she passed.

When they arrived, Madame Pomfrey ended up dunking their heads in some magic concoctions that made their heads terribly full of soup suds and dull pink. Hermione flicked some water at Snape's face.

She was very surprised when he flicked some water back at her. Hermione shot him a small grin.

It went back and forth until Madame Pomfrey turned back around and scolded them for making a mess on the floor.

Hermione promised to clean it up.

She stole a glance at Snape and noticed that while he wasn't smiling...he wasn't frowning either. Sucess...

* * *

 _Hit Me Baby One More Time_

...

The second prank was done by the twins. Hermione knew that Ron would never dare use such a prank on her. It was the twins.

It happened in the Gryffindor Common Room.

They were studying per Snape's request. Hermione wouldn't deny the slight flutter in her heart that she got whenever someone requested to study with her. Not that she had any lingering feelings for Snape, oh no, not at all. Snape was technically still her professor and that would break thousands of rules.

Or so what she was thinking while she took a sip of her tea.

It was the tea.

Suddenly Snape was very attractive.

His dark eyes flickered up to meet hers, "What are you looking at?"

"..."

"...Granger?"

It must've been his voice that started her heart pounding because she got up from her chair and _tackled_ him. Her lips met his and she wanted to say it felt magical. Well, it probably did for her.

His reaction was a bit duller; "Wha-...bloody he-..Granger... mmph!"

She was too busy snogging him to really realize the whistles and catcalls that sounded out through the room. By the time he pushed her away, "This counts as harrasment."

She pointed out, "Hogwarts doesn't have any rules on harrasment."

His eyes were desperate, "Hogwarts: A History does."

To be honest, that was possiblely the worst thing he could've said.

Back to snogging it was.

* * *

 _The Verdict_

...

The Weasley twins were given two weeks worth of detention.

...Hermione found out later that Dumbledore had personally complimented them for concealing a Kissing Concoction in a cup of tea and had given them twenty points each for being smart.

* * *

 _Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better_

...

Contrary to earlier belief. She and Snape got along rather nicely between bonding from being pranked by Weasley's and finding companionship in studying. They almost became friends much to Hermione's shock.

Which is why, Hermione felt rather uneasy when Dumbledore told them that he had discovered a way to take Snape home. He told them to say their final goodbyes.

She frowned, but stuck out her hand awkwardly, "Goodbye."

Snape sighed, "We finally get along and you give me the worst farewell I have ever heard."

Her cheeks reddened slightly, "Well, I'd like to see you do better."

And so he did. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against her cheek softly and she froze.

"Goodbye..."

By the time she had turned around, Snape was already gone from the Headmaster's office and all that was left was Dumbledore with his twinkling eyes once again, holding Harry's glasses in his hand.

"Did you find your answer, Miss Granger?"

She fainted.


End file.
